Y 4 Yanzi

Coincidence happens 2 me more than anything I guess, good n bad ones, ppl think im smart, always appear @ d ryt moment @ d ryt place…bt God nos, it's not planed…I swear….if I got dat much brain cells I wouldn’t b still hir struggling 2 get my citizenship…geezzz...

Most of d tyms my brain is on vacation…I hardly use it….most of d days in life i speak without thinkin, do things without thinkin…n I let things happen d way it is…if it went wrong I blame it 2 myself n seeking for grace… if it went ryt…Buddha is looking after me… dat juz how I live…n it juz seems 2 ppl Buddha is always looking after me…well, he is…n 4 dat im more grateful than anything…

n 4 me rational thinkin only kicks in when emotion is on vacation or occupied…if u believe it or not…bt plz do not tell me im playing dumb…I don’t like dat expression…I might b smart in sumways dat I haven’t discover yet…bt definitely not in d ways dat I have control of…

I gave ppl present worth almost 10k n now she doesn’t even talk 2 me…u think smart ppl do things like dat??? So far all d boys I liked left me…I lent ppl money n suffer myself…I give 100% in every whatever-ship it is…n u will b surprised hw many tyms I got screwed…bt im still putting 100% in…im told 10 million tyms dat Doris is an old fashion name 4 grannies bt im still keeping it coz i've been using it since i was 6, n d 1 who gave me dis name meant a lot 2 me bk then... i do things according 2 my feelings...

If u wanna tell me im smart it’s a complement 4 me, n I like it, bt don’t add d playing dumb part…seriously i would shut up d take it if it is d case bt it’s not…In fact i show off my intelligence most of d tyms instead of playing dumb…ask Steven n ppl who nos me… n if ppl think I gotta a plan 4 anythin or plyin games…well laugh @ it…coz I don’t even no hw 2 plan my life ahead…im living my random life depending heavily on luck…dats hw I keep myself happy…do not upset me with d bullshit theories dat matters 2 u…i dont wanna clarify dis agn  especially wit a fever n running nose...tks

                                                                                                         纪彦孜 Doris Yanzi Ji

my greatest asset in life so far is prob d friends i hv got....im gonna start with d 1s who im constantly talking 2 lately...if u read chinese n hv been following my stories...u will no S...S is still d same S…life coach friend who i rely heavily on when it cums 2 go through rough tyms…X is my best friend in China who keeps proposing 2 me over d past 2 yrs...F is my cuz…a new cuz dat i like a lot…P is another new friend frm my holiday trip…who would share his secret with me…E is also a new friend i met during my holiday…bt im grateful 2 hv him around everytym i need sum holiday reminder…E is a very good boy...a friend 4 life…K is an old friend, K went out wit a boy 4 over 10 yrs dey were abt 2 get married, n nw dey hardly talk…ppl hv different stories in life, n our stories r too long 2 put it in2 writing...

ders gonna b more cuming up, especially wit my none stop crazy stories in life....bt so far im gonna juz hv these in my space, n i will add more if it is absolutely necessary...

d reason i brought dis up is...i wanna share sum random things dey said 2 me RANDOMLY!!! u can laugh @ anything coz most of d tyms when i look bk...i laugh my head off.....

i wanna post sumtin F said 2 me d other day when i ask him wat does man lyk n dislyk.....coz P told me, boys lyk straightforward, n not fuss over small things… bt K said girls r sensitive…n it is hard 2 not notice d small things dat might indicate cracks...

so d outcome frm F was...' i'd say if its a girl i already lyk straight forwardness is nice, coz it enforces d relation, if its not it could look lyk desperation'...dats his original word...when i saw d word desperation poped out...i realised wat was d reason i hated myself....desperation dats exectly d word i was lookin 4 2 describe my uncoolness...well he helped me found it...lol....damn...desperate...wat a mean word...

K said no matter wat u say n no matter wat u do, no matter hw bad he can b 2 u, d moment he calls 4 u, u will run bk 2 him....n if he leaves agn u juz hv 2 tk it agn...dats hw girls r...it 100% normal...n it happens 2 every1...K said wit every relationship, u learn n u grow...u both...i stopped ryt der n wondering...hmmm wat did he learn frm me??? lol  K also said men r pigs, n we should juz b pigs bk...bt we cant do it...coz we juz too sensitive n emotional... c'est la vie...2 me dat was it...im 100% sure if he calls 4 me now, ill run 2 him wit d quickest speed i can run...if i can fly...i wouldnt mind doin dat either...lol...

bt hir cums my own theory... I believe if my luv bcums a burden 4 d other party, dats abt d tym im loosing him....so im doin my best 2 stay cool...or pretending im super cool...which always ended up even uncooler...god nos wats wrong wit me... bt nw whenever dis thought pops up...id quickly refer 2 wat F said abt desperation...n tell myself im too desperate...as if im sumsort of beast dat hv neva seen boys b4...lol...

S said these in chinese, bt his main idea was...im still living in my perfact fairytale world....i chase different things frm most girls, coz i dont need 2 worry abt most of d things in life...i got responsible parents...over reasonably luv me... take care of my life n nearly live my life 4 me...he said i need 2 face d reality...n stop daydream abt d things dats not gonna happen in a million yrs...i need 2 wake up…my bitch standard of men can run 4 world wonders assesment...dat 1 kind im lookin 4 has already extincted...

im sitting der n think...if dis werent happened 2 me...mayb i will cum up wit d most fabulous bull crap theory abt it aswel...only coz im in it...nw im stuck...my brain doesn’t tell me d truth anymore…sux

bt S nos me well, he is prob d 2nd guy in d world who nos me d most, 1st is X...we(me S n X) no each other 4 9 yrs already...i draged S 2 melb...im not capable 2 get X hir coz he mks 1 million a month in china, if he cums hir, he doesnt speak a word of english...he said he'd only cum if i agree 2 marry him...well iv neva ever so seriously thinking abt it nw....lol.... i do need 2 eake up in a way...bt i luv who i am n hw i am.... i believe i will find sum1 feels d same way....

E n I r in d same range...we totally different frm all other ways, bt we both chase 4 d perface luv which only happens in d movies n fairytale stories...E's naive aswel...E believes in everything…he told me 2 hv faith in ppl n in things…n his way of living inspires me a lot...we only no eachother shot....bt E’s d best friend u can get…in all kind of ways…n im keepin him 4 life....lol i dont care if he wants it or not....lol

Im grateful 2 hv all my friends in life...feels like god send dem 2 me juz 2 mk me happy n teach me hw life is…i guess im juz lucky…dats d only explanation I can give…

                                                                                                                                  纪彦孜 Doris Yanzi Ji

sry 4 disappearing 4 so long...well, clearly d life in Korea is more fun than writing blogs...n d life back hir is kinda boring...lol

No matter what you say about love
I keep coming back for more
Keep my hand in the fire
Sooner or later, I'll get what I'm asking for

No matter what you say about life
I learn every time I bleed
That truth is a stranger
Soul is in danger, I gotta let my spirit be free

To admit that I'm wrong
And then change my mind
Sorry but I have to move on
And leave you behind

I can't waste time so give it a moment
I realize, nothing's broken
No need to worry 'bout everything I've done
Live every second like it was my last one
Don't look back at a new direction
I loved you once, needed protection
You're still a part of everything I do
You're on my heart just like a tattoo

I'm sick of playing all of these games
It's not about taking sides
When I looked in the mirror, didn't deliver
It hurt enough to think that I could

Stop, admit that I'm wrong
And then change my mind
Sorry but I gotta be strong
And leave you behind

If I live every moment
Won't change any moment
Still a part of me and you
I will never regret you
Still the memory of you
Marks everything i do

Just like a tattoo
I'll always have you 

                                                                                                                                       纪彦孜 Doris Yanzi Ji

I went to watch ‘Speed Racer’ tonight, straight after ‘Happening’，not gonna comment much on ‘Happening’, I'm not a fan of scary stuff at all, and that is scary categorized by me. That was under my ‘not watching’ movie list, but coz one of a really good friend wants to see it, I was talked into it, and apparently she didn't know it's gonna be like that either. That just made me another rule of my life; never listen to people about changing my ‘not watching’ list ever again.

Anyways, back to the topic about Rain in Speed Racer, he really did us proud, and very impressive English Speaking skills... No doubt about his acting... I have to say he is dame good… and I do see a bright future for him on the red carpet up in that little mountain of LA.

I was looking forward to seeing this movie since early this year, and I really loved it, not only because Rain is in it but also I guess because it is about Racings and cars, two of my favorites on TV, how can I not love it... and I am seriously thinking about suggesting it to everyone, it's fun, excited and the animation is cool...

I love movies, especially good stories, but I guess this time for me it is more Rain than the movie, but maybe that’s just another marketing strategy from the film makers, and I have to say they are smart; coz Rain is big in the whole Asian region, and put him in the movie further opens up the whole Asian market. Even the story idea I suppose was initiated by Japanese but for this movie to have a better sale in Asia, having him on board is the catalyst.

I was too excited to have any words when I saw him the first scene and I have to admit I was thinking about taking one of the cinema poster poles home. To watch him stepping on the big red carpet, I am really excited and happy for him. I told him on his web page he is going to be successful, I’m not sure if he checks his page, but he will get to taste the little golden warped chocolate men sooner or later, and I will be here watching him. He is the first celebrity I cared so much, and I think this will seriously last for quite a while.

I knew his existence as a celebrity since 2002 or 3, and I can tell how big he is by the change of voice whenever I say his name in front of girls, but it didn’t hit me until this year, when I saw his concert DVD earlier this year it seems suddenly clicked and all of a sudden I understand why those girls are dying for him and I joint them as one of the ‘mad people’ in my dad’s dictionary. I even said to my friend, I wouldn’t mind turning you and half of the Asian population into my rival in love, it was a joke, but now I guess I have to seriously consider about raising that number again since he tapped Hollywood. Damn it!!! It is a bit too much of rivalry if it goes up to half of the world population isn’t it, how am I gonna survive from that. Lolz…It’s been nearly 5 months since I first fall for him, I am a late starter out of all his fans, and I am a very late starter of following celebrities as well. But he got my eyes. This is the first blog I have ever written in my life about the happiness of being his fan and getting rewarded by his fabulous job. And I am thinking about posting it up on all my WebPages.

God! I guess I need serious help, even to write this up is not me already, and it is 4am in the morning I’m still damn excited about it…

Excuse me if there’s any linguistic mistakes, I’m too excited to work my brain at the moment.

                                                                                              纪彦孜  Doris Yanzi Ji